It's not that I intentionally try to hide the rest of my life or be secretive about it. I like to focus on the positive things in my life. I enjoy sharing the things I've made or cool experiences we've had. I try not to ever publicly complain and you'll never see me tear down my loved ones in an online rant. I focus on the wonderful things in my life but my life isn't all glitter and fancy.
Still though, there are bits that I won't post because it's just too hum-drum, I don't want to needlessly embarrass myself, or it's too personal and I just don't like getting told how to do this or that by strangers.
But I thought it was time for a little honesty, inspired by this lady.
Sometimes I just want to be REAL with you.
source
I am really really hate to do laundry, to the point that I mostly try and ignore it. Every step of laundry is like pulling teeth for me. Putting it in the washing machine (no big deal, but I still avoid it). Taking it OUT of the washing machine (doesn't happen as often or as soon as it should). Re-washing it because I left it too long. Hanging it up (ugh). Folding it. (ugh!) Putting it away (Kill me now.)
I hardly ever get dressed. My daily uniform is a t-shirt and sweatpants. I LOVE getting dressed up, but I hardly ever go anywhere or have any visitors so I mostly just don't see the point in creating more laundry. Yup. There we go with the laundry again.
I'm kind of a terrible housekeeper. I want to be awesome at keeping my house clean. But it just doesn't happen. I'm too busy with the baby (which I love) and too busy with my crafts (which I also love) to be totally on top of the housework (which just doesn't seem as important). I really admire my girlfriends who can keep a clean house with kiddos. I'm just not one of them. Though I'd like you to think I am.
Though I will mention that it's clean under the mess. It's just untidy. Not dirty.
One time, I had a giant pile of clean clothes in our room. It was there a long time. Like. Weeks. My excuse was I was going to clean out my closet so that me and Phil could share our small closet in our room. I had difficulty finding the time to sort it out and the clothes pile grew and stuck around a long time. Then, my friend Dee came over to our house for the first time. I cleaned the house pretty good but I didn't have time to deal with the washing. So I did what any sane person would do... I stuffed it all in suitcases and hid the mess. EMBARRASSING. It stayed in the suitcases a few days. Even more embarrassing.
...Don't worry. It's all tidied up properly now. But it's still embarrassing to think about. haha
I know I gave birth naturally and everything, but I'm really afraid to go through it all again. It's hard for me to think about without crying a little. It's not like I had a near-death experience or anything. I just remember labor being really terrifying and it shook me to my core. When we get pregnant again, I know I'm going to have to face it. I WANT to face it and make peace with labor. And to try again to have a natural labor. I just don't want to face it right now. I don't feel brave enough.
(And here I go crying a little bit again.)
I don't shower as often as I should. You might think it's because I'm a hippy. But I'm not. Far from it. My hair is just too daunting to deal with so it's easier to leave it a few days so I have to tame it less often.
I kinda need a shower right now actually.
What are you afraid to tell?
Talia Christine
What about dishes? Like...a pan with old, dried beans crusted on 'em :)
ReplyDeleteI think you'll be glad to hear that I'm slightly better at dishes now. I do them once a day. It's the ONE thing I'm good at.
Deleteyou hid your laundry in the suitcases??!! BAHAHA. i'm wetting myself. that is too funny >.<
ReplyDeleteour laundry sits in piles on the stairs - it rarely makes it back to the drawers before it's worn again! haha
I knooooooooooow! We even talked about the suitcases HAHA!! Just not the clothes hiding IN them!! <3
DeleteWhen people are coming round to my place, and I run out of time, I hide my dirty dishes in the oven and hang tea towels over the door.
ReplyDeleteOnce they stayed in there until the next day. Shame.
This is a great tip... ;)
DeleteThis is great! I can relate to many things here.. I really get sick of tidying all the time, same old thing, all.the.time. There are so many more important things to do with the day... And laundry - bleargh. Worst chore ever. I also felt the same about labour, but I'm happy to report that it was a MILLION times better/easier the second time around. My body and mind were so much more prepared, having been through it once - and I was able to breeze through it. I'm sure you'll be the same, when the time comes x
ReplyDeleteI know exactly what you mean about labour! I want more babies but the thought of labouring again is terrifying. I had a drug free birth but I'm not sure if I could do it again! I'm petrified of getting a bad tear again too, even though it healed quickly. I guess the only good thing is having gone through it all once, I know a bit of what to expect for next time. And the end product is a pretty good reward :)
ReplyDeleteGreat post - I'm rubbish at housekeeping too - people coming over is my saving grace because it means some stuff gets done. Yup housework is for geeks!!
ReplyDeleteYou've just decribed me...
ReplyDeleteAll but the baby...
I'm already incredibly untidy with piles of clean clothes waiting to be hung without yet having a bub. Jx
Girl, you are a superwoman. Next time around WILL be different. You have the knowledge that - however it went - you've done it before. And that is powerful! You need to read some good books about natural labour, talk to some good friends who've done it (preferably without horror stories!) and find yourself someone to be your birth support person alongside Phil who can encourage you both. Don't be afraid to think about how it was. It's important to process the feelings so that you can move on from them and gain strength from overcoming them. Love you!
ReplyDeletePS: I don't have any horror stories, you KNOW I don't mind hairy questions and I LOVE talking about labour and birth, so hit me up if you need/want to.
Hey lady, i think you should read this (if you havnt already)
ReplyDeletehttp://www.amazon.co.uk/Childbirth-without-Fear-Principles-Practice/dp/0953096467
If i could choose one book to recommend to anyone facing labor, this would be it. It helped me ENORMOUSLY - far more than anyone else or any other book did. I (as you know) labored by myself (at home), for 90% of the time, and it was totally manageable thanks to the skills and advice in this book.
I think i read the first edition which was published in the 30's!!
Oh yeah, been there with the childbirth thing. I used to get panic attacks thinking about having another baby; and then all throughout my second pregnancy, Miles kept doing things like wrapping himself up six times in his cord or adopting an unstable lie after 38 weeks. You know, stuff that screamed "You're going to end up in hospital again and this time you will probably have to have a C-section and you'll bleed out and DIE and never be able to breastfeed"... which didn't do much for my calm.
ReplyDeleteLuckily, Hypnobabies worked... sorta... and whether it was a first-vs-second-baby issue, or an induced-vs-spontaneous-labour thing, or just the good Lord saying "Ehh, I don't want her whining about this for the next three years, I'll give her a break"... well, it was better. Not *fun*, mind you, but now I can hear people say "You forget all about the pain afterwards" without emitting a cynical "Hah!". Mostly I think I just reacted to the pain differently - I felt like I was "driving" my labour, not being submerged and overwhelmed by it and suffering in a passive, pathetic, craven kind of way like the first time. I felt like I'd accomplished something at the end, not just like I was the victim of some meaningless torture that had eventually ended by itself. Does that make sense?
Honestly, I think everyone should skip over their first birth and go straight to the second. :p Think of it as prep for your "real" birthing career - you know what you need to learn now for next time; you know what worked, or at least what didn't; and you have plenty of time to be proactive about getting your head in gear for the second time.
And yeah, listen to Jess. She's awesome at th' having of th' babbies.
I hid a pile of clean clothing in a suitcase once and forgot they were there for like a week. I also rarely wash my hair- like every three or four days. I hate washing my hair, it's so tedious. :)
ReplyDeleteI could have written every single one of these! So funny how similar we are. We're having our third baby in a few weeks soon, and it makes me feel very alone and poo-poo'd when people tell me "Oh, you won't even remember how much it hurt afterwards." I mean, I'm already at the point now where I have more children than the average American. I have a pretty good idea of what's gonna happen. The fact is some women have a much harder time than others, and they don't have the blessing of all the chemical things that often take over afterwards that make women forget (I've never thought "Man, I can't wait to have another one!" right after a labor, like a lot of my friends have. That's just totally bizarre to me).
ReplyDeleteSorry, I just realized that's totally a downer comment! I wish I had some motivational poster to show you... I'll make a poster of me frowning, and underneath it'll say "Tell Miss Naomi all about it, sweetie." It'll make the labor sooo much easier ;)
Thanks for your honesty! I think we're all a bit more like this than blogs/twitter/facebook would have everyone believe. It's okay. One of my problems is I start a project (sort through my clothes for keep/winter/goodwill piles and then all of my clothes sit on half of my bed while I push it aside to sleep at night) and take forever to finish it, if at all. If I had a little babe like Audrey, I'd be pretty keen on hanging out with her too. :)
ReplyDeleteTalia, I have to tell you that I could have written the exact same post. Cleaning house (and especially laundry!!) is my biggest challenge, I also probably don't shower as often as I should (I have really dry scalp and I justify not showering daily because I need the natural oils to hydrate my head. ha) and my 3-day long natural birth, as rewarding as it was, still kinda scares me sometimes. Thanks for sharing :)
ReplyDeleteI once hid an enormous pile of laundry in my minivan before a home showing. Three under five has us living out of laundry baskets waaaaay more than I like!
ReplyDeletepsssh - showering... overrated anyway! hahahah such a waste of water!
ReplyDeleteHmmm I think the only thing that got me though both labours was the thought that if it got to much for me at any moment I could just end the pain with an epidural. The utter bliss of getting the spinal after birth no1 when I was getting stiched up will be something I'll never forget, weirdly more momentous than any aspect of the labour which is just a memory blur. So I ended up having natural births but having the pain free option gave me breathing room. I mean it is a curse after all, "pain in childbirth", so if it is possible to alleviate some pain why not? It sometimes seems that to put up with the most horrific pain in your life with out help gives the new mum a 'Natural-Lady-of-Special-Awesome' badge of honour... Poor ladies who had troubles etc and needed epidural or c-section, they miss out on their special badge.
ReplyDeleteLove his post. I'm not too bad wIth the washing and hanging out part of the washing, it's the putting it away part that never seems to happy.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how or why but for some reason things collect in my car to the point it looks like I live in it. I'm generally a tidy person (beside piles of clean laundry at the end of the bed)but this problem in the car is embarrassing when you spontaneously give some one a lift somewhere or even park next to someone and they look in.
ReplyDeleteWell...today I've been avoiding a stack of mail and paperwork to file, instead I've been painting and distracting myself with good blogs all day! Now, i'm kind of sorting the paperwork while reading blogs...and I can totally relate to the shower and laundry secret that you revealed.
ReplyDeleteTalia, you inspired me. I wrote one!
ReplyDeleteYou are a woman after my own heart! Can I just say that I feel very close to you right now? Awkward I know. But still true. haha!
ReplyDelete