4 Months Old

Dear Audrey,
You've grown so much in such an impossibly small amount of time. It seems like overnight you are aware of everything around you. You watch everything and everyone so intently, just soaking up everything that you can. You've learned a few phrases, much to my amazement. You know "Do you want to hold it?". You respond with reaching out your tiny fingers trying so desperately hard to gain control of them. You know that when I say, "Mmm, yummy! Take a bite!" I have some apple sauce ready for you. You tire of when I spoon feed you. You insist on feeding yourself with the spoon. It's a mess. But you're 4 months old so I think it's pretty darn amazing, so I let you.

You're THIS close to sitting up by yourself. That part upsets me. You are in such a hurry to do everything yourself. You are on the cusp of gaining a small bit of independence. And it hurts my heart just a little. I am excited to see you grow and do, but with these things brings growing pangs. I want to push pause and keep you small and sweet forever.

You've started laughing! It's the best thing ever! Like your father, you smile a lot, but you don't often laugh. When you DO laugh it's like the greatest reward. Your laugh is a quick wholehearted cackle and you kick your feet, then finish off with a high pitched squeal. Seriously. It's so high pitched. It's almost like a dog whistle.

Seriously.

Last night we moved your cot into your room and you slept in your own room for the first time ever. I was nursing you while Papa moved the cot into your room. I held you close and only cried for a second. But I still cried.

Audrey, I love you so much! I love when we cuddle in the mornings and when you wrap your little hand around my fingers. You are my little joy. I love you forever.

Love,
Mama.

Note: For those wondering... Audrey's 3 month photos are missing from the growing series because, well, I didn't take any photos. With Audrey's reflux we were a bit of a mess. All of us. Her reflux is still strong and present but we've found our feet a bit more. It's nice.