It's not that I intentionally try to hide the rest of my life or be secretive about it. I like to focus on the positive things in my life. I enjoy sharing the things I've made or cool experiences we've had. I try not to ever publicly complain and you'll never see me tear down my loved ones in an online rant. I focus on the wonderful things in my life but my life isn't all glitter and fancy.
Still though, there are bits that I won't post because it's just too hum-drum, I don't want to needlessly embarrass myself, or it's too personal and I just don't like getting told how to do this or that by strangers.
But I thought it was time for a little honesty, inspired by this lady.
Sometimes I just want to be REAL with you.
I am really really hate to do laundry, to the point that I mostly try and ignore it. Every step of laundry is like pulling teeth for me. Putting it in the washing machine (no big deal, but I still avoid it). Taking it OUT of the washing machine (doesn't happen as often or as soon as it should). Re-washing it because I left it too long. Hanging it up (ugh). Folding it. (ugh!) Putting it away (Kill me now.)
I hardly ever get dressed. My daily uniform is a t-shirt and sweatpants. I LOVE getting dressed up, but I hardly ever go anywhere or have any visitors so I mostly just don't see the point in creating more laundry. Yup. There we go with the laundry again.
I'm kind of a terrible housekeeper. I want to be awesome at keeping my house clean. But it just doesn't happen. I'm too busy with the baby (which I love) and too busy with my crafts (which I also love) to be totally on top of the housework (which just doesn't seem as important). I really admire my girlfriends who can keep a clean house with kiddos. I'm just not one of them. Though I'd like you to think I am.
Though I will mention that it's clean under the mess. It's just untidy. Not dirty.
One time, I had a giant pile of clean clothes in our room. It was there a long time. Like. Weeks. My excuse was I was going to clean out my closet so that me and Phil could share our small closet in our room. I had difficulty finding the time to sort it out and the clothes pile grew and stuck around a long time. Then, my friend Dee came over to our house for the first time. I cleaned the house pretty good but I didn't have time to deal with the washing. So I did what any sane person would do... I stuffed it all in suitcases and hid the mess. EMBARRASSING. It stayed in the suitcases a few days. Even more embarrassing.
...Don't worry. It's all tidied up properly now. But it's still embarrassing to think about. haha
I know I gave birth naturally and everything, but I'm really afraid to go through it all again. It's hard for me to think about without crying a little. It's not like I had a near-death experience or anything. I just remember labor being really terrifying and it shook me to my core. When we get pregnant again, I know I'm going to have to face it. I WANT to face it and make peace with labor. And to try again to have a natural labor. I just don't want to face it right now. I don't feel brave enough.
(And here I go crying a little bit again.)
I don't shower as often as I should. You might think it's because I'm a hippy. But I'm not. Far from it. My hair is just too daunting to deal with so it's easier to leave it a few days so I have to tame it less often.
I kinda need a shower right now actually.
What are you afraid to tell?