To say that this last month (or so) has been craaaaazy would be a gross understatement. Audrey has reflux. I swear I thought I blogged about this before but I haven't. I just checked. (weird!)
So here's the story.
Baby girl was drooling a lot and screaming when I went to nurse her. Apparently she was drooling because it hurt to swallow (WAH! Soooo sad. Just breaks my heart!). She didn't want to eat because it hurt. She wouldn't have full feeds when she did nurse so that she could cope. So she wasn't sleeping well. She was a mess. I was a mess.
We took her to the doctors to get something to help manage the reflux. The first thing we tried was infant Gaviscon. Things started to improve, so we knew we were on the right track, but Audrey was still struggling. Gaviscon is a milk thickener to help prevent the baby from spilling the milk. Well, since it wasn't totally helping the reflux Audrey was still only having half feeds. Since she wasn't taking in enough milk, the milk thickener made her constipated. So not cool.
We went back to the doctors to find another game plan. We've put her on some actual medication for reflux and things are definitely on the up and up! Baby girl is slowly starting to take in more and more during feeding times and her sleeps are stretching longer and longer. Yesterday she had a 3 hour nap. Say whaaaaaaat?
Throughout this whole ordeal I've been up and down and I feel like I've been all over the place. When I didn't know what was wrong with Audrey I felt overwhelmed and anxious. I felt really helpless to fix the situation and make my crying baby feel better. Now I feel armed and empowered. I have information, support, and a better game plan on my side. I feel less lost. I feel hope.
Throughout this trial I feel a change and shift within myself. I'm learning to love the small victories and focus on the positive. We take one feed for Audrey at a time. Sometimes we win and we rejoice. Sometimes we don't but we brush it off and leave it behind. Sometimes I feel really tired of this nonsense but overall I feel more at peace. We're learning not to cry over spilled milk. Baby girl is healthy and happy. We are blessed.
So things are a little crazy around here. I don't have the time I would like to do this or that. The dishes are piling up, the floor definitely needs vacuuming, but Audrey is napping and I am allowing myself to just ...